Forgiven & Forsaken
by wrong.perfection
Summary: We really don't know who we are until we are faced with Judgement Day. With apocalypse in full swing betrayal threatens to tear them apart. Sam, Dean, and Claire face the toughest decisions of their lives. Part 4 of the Guardian Series.
1. Sigh No More

_**Chapter 1 – Sigh No More**_

_It's hard to explain the feeling that occurs when you die. It is just dark. Nothing. I couldn't see or feel anything. It was almost like being suspended in time and having every type of sense ripped from you. I wasn't sure if this was heaven, or hell, or…_

I glanced around at the passing scenery. My thumb hitting the wheel in time to the beat of the song. My lips moving to form the words but sound never leaving my lips. I glanced over at the passenger in the seat next to me. It was surreal almost like someone was playing some kind of cruel joke on me. I shook my head before focusing back on the road.

_For the first time since I had seen that light I had felt something. It wasn't much, but it was something. A cold feeling enveloped my body before my eyes snapped open. There was nothing except for a blinding light. My eyes snapped close before I heard my name being called. I opened them against straining against the light until a dark figure came into my view._

"_Hey sissy," a familiar voice rang out._

"Are we close?" Her monotone voice asked.

"I don't know you're the angel you figure it out," I retorted sarcastically. I glanced over at the blond before my eyes focused on the road.

"I did not mean to offend you, but you need to come to terms with what has happened."

I rolled my eyes, shaking my head at the same time. That's all I've heard this entire ride. Apologizes and the whole you need to accept things speech. I chose this; I need to live with it. I can't tell how many times I've heard that.

"How can I come to terms with something I don't remember?" I asked in a dead tone. There was no emotion to my voice. I couldn't feel anything, it was just numb. I knew I wouldn't be able to feel anything…Not until I saw him again.

* * *

The care ride was completely silent. Both Winchesters were so wrapped up in their own thoughts neither dared to speak a word. Dean was staring blankly out the front window and he gazed at the road in front of him. He could see the road, but he wasn't paying attention he couldn't. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't get the look in her eyes out of his head.

Sam, who was staring out the window at the darkness, had similar thoughts. He had caused this. He felt like this was his fault. If he had just put away his anger and his pride for just a few moments he could have saved Claire's life. He shook his head thinking about the brunette woman he cared so much for. He glanced down at his hands and cursed the very hands that had cost Claire her life.

Sam turned his head slightly looking at his brother breaking the silence. "Dean. Look I-"

"Don't say anything." Dean replied tiredly. He knew what Sam was going to say he just didn't want to hear it. His emotions were spent and the last thing he wanted to deal with was Sam's apologies.

_Dean with tears in his eyes rested his hand against her cheek as he stared into her cold, blank eyes. He looked over at Sam who looked ready to kill himself with grief. Dean pulled the cold body of Claire to him as the first tears escaped his eyes. _

"_No," he whispered. "Come on Claire. Please." _

"_I'm so sorry," Sam responded his hand resting on Claire's limp arm. Sam reached up and gently closed her eyes before checking for a pulse praying there might be one. When he was met with nothing but cold skin he recoiled in shame. _

_The serenity of the moment was broken as a loud whirling noise broke through the atmosphere. Dean glanced behind him to see the circle in the blood had begun to open a stream of light pouring from it. He quickly picked up Claire's limp body and stood up with Sam._

"_Sammy let's go!" _

"_Dean…" Sam replied fearfully grabbing onto Dean's jacket. Dean gazed wide eyed at his brother as he held onto Claire tightly. Sam's gaze was fixed on the opening before he finally said the two words Dean prayed he would never have to hear._

"He's here."

_While still holding onto Claire, Dean grabbed Sam's jacket yelling, "Come on!" Both Winchesters raced to the door only to have the doors slam close. Dean held onto Claire tightly before he began running his shoulder into the door while Sam pounded relentlessly on it. Both guys with fearful looks on their faces finally turned around facing the bright light._

_A loud high pitched buzzing noise had engulfed the room signaling the coming of an angel, specifically Lucifer. Dean held onto Claire as long as he could as he and Sam dropped to their knees the sound growing louder and louder. The pain was too much as Dean let Claire go, her body falling to the ground as the guys grabbed their heads in agony. Dean stared down at Claire's perfect stone-like face as the light began to overpower his sense of sight before he could no longer see anything._

"It's okay," Dean said breaking the silence that had fallen over them again. "We just gotta keep our heads down and hash this out, all right?"

Sam stared at Dean a look of shock and worry crossing his face hearing that come out of Dean's mouth. He seemed to be blocking out Claire completely. He hadn't said a word about her, but Sam knew she was the only thing on Dean's mind.

"Yeah, okay…" Sam responded unsure of him.

"All right, first things first. How did we end up on _Soul Plane_?" Dean asked his voice empty as he stared out at the road ahead of him not looking at his brother. Now Sam was worried.

* * *

I slowly brought the car to a stop before shutting off the engine. I glanced up at the house taking a deep breath before releasing it. I glanced over at the blonde in the seat next to me before climbing out. She quickly followed after me a blank stare on her face as usual.

"Stay here," I said firmly before starting my walk.

"I would like to go," she said monotone stepping forward.

"Whoa no, no." I said stopped turning towards her and putting my index finger out. "You are going to stay right here. The last thing we need is anyone freaking out, okay?"

"I find your compassion to impress others quite fascinating," she responded dully glancing around curiously.

I roll my eyes, "Just stay here."

I turn on my heel and start towards the house once again. I glanced back cautiously and sighed when I saw she was still standing in the same spot. I then focused my gaze on the door as I neared it, the peeling paint made me want to reach out and pull it off the door. I knocked quickly before waiting patiently for an answer. When I didn't get an answer I jiggled the doorknob until the door opened before me. I ignored the warning in the pit of my stomach as I stepped foot into the house. As I walked in further I noticed it looked like a warzone: furniture knocked over, glass shattered across the floor, and there where splatters of blood is certain places.

"Chuck?" I called out as I walked in further.

I froze when I heard the sound of crunching debris behind me. I quickly spun around to face whoever was behind me and saw a piece of wood come flying at my head. I quickly ducked avoiding the wood before straightening back up again. The wood came flying at me again only this time I caught it preventing it from doing damage.

"Who are you?" A frightened voice asked from the other end of the wood.

"Chuck, it's me Claire!" I replied breathing quickly.

"What?" Chuck dropped the wood and stared at me with a gaping look. "No, no, no, no. You died. I saw you die. Lilith she took your blood-"

"Do I look dead to you?" I asked shrugging.

"How-?"

"It was the will of God," another voice cut in. I rolled my eyes as Chuck swung around his jaw dropping. His gaze jumped from me back to the other person who had just entered.

"Chuck meet Eloa. The angel in my head," I respond sarcastically.

Standing there was none other than my twin.

* * *

Sam tossed Dean the hex bag. A weird look crossed his face as talk of Ruby came up. He was genuinely worried for Sam, but there was a side to Dean that was still pissed off at his brother. Sammy trusted a demon and in turn Claire died. Sam went against him and in the end Claire died. No matter what way it went the end result was always Claire's death. He didn't care that the apocalypse had started all he could think about was the fact that she was gone.

"Dean-" Sam started.

"Sam," Dean immediately cut him off turning away. "It's okay. You don't have to say anything."

"Well that's good," Sam retorted not convinced. "Because what can I even say? 'I'm sorry'? 'I screwed up'? 'I accidentally got Claire killed'? Doesn't really do it justice, you know. It doesn't do _her_ any justice. I know how you feel, Dean. I lost her too."

There was a penetrating silence that echoed through the room as Sam said those words. Dean kept his back to his brother trying his hardest to keep the feelings repressed. He stared down at the hex bag in his hands thinking about everything he could have done to save her. He kept his face set in a cross between sadness and anger before Sam spoke up again.

"Look, there's nothing I can do or say that will ever make this right—"

"So why do you keep bringing it up?" Dean finally snapped raising his voice. "Look, all I'm saying is why do we have to put this under a microscope? We made a mess. We clean it up. That's it." Dean struggled to keep Claire's name out of the conversation as he kept going. "All right, say this was just any other hunt? What do we do first?"

"We'd figure out where the thing is," Sam responded.

"All right, so we just gotta find…the devil," Dean had a hard time getting the words out.

Sam sighed as Dean turned away from him again. To Dean this was just another hunt which meant he was pushing down his feelings and it was going to eat away at him. He had seen it before. Sam shook his head before speaking once more.

"Dean there's one thing that we have to talk about."

"Sam," Dean said a warning to his voice. "Do. Not. Go. There."

"She's gone and it's killing me as much as it is you."

"SAM!" Dean yelled. "I said enough."

Sam fell silent as Dean moved back to the table where there were countless papers and a few books spread across it. He watched his brother's movements between the slump in his shoulders and the anguished look on his face he knew Dean felt just as guilty as him.

* * *

"Explain it to me again…" Chuck said shaking his head trying to understand what it all meant.

I sighed rolling my eyes as I lay back against the stairs. Eloa was kneeling down next to a glob of blood that coated some paper. She seemed more intrigued by the blood than by the conversation Chuck and I were having.

"Somewhere in the great beyond my soul and Alex's soul were reunited like they were supposed to be in the first place, so that left an empty vessel in which Eloa gladly took over."

"So you and your evil twin are in one body and an angel is in the other?"

"No," Eloa spoke up standing up fully and glancing at Chuck before looking away like he wasn't worth her time. "The soul Claire had before was broken, incomplete. That's why the grace could be so easily accepted into her body. Now the soul of her sister Alexandria and Claire herself have merged to create their true, human soul."

"Yeah…Because that makes sense," Chuck responded. "Look Sam and Dean aren't here, you just missed them."

I sigh, thinking about the brothers. Eloa gives me this look that makes me feel weak. Of course she would feel that way I mean she is an angel who has been taught to forget emotions. But she rebelled. Why would she be so judgmental now?

"I'll catch up with them eventually…" I respond shrugging my shoulders.

"Is this Castiel?" Eloa asked curiously examining the blood she had squished between her fingers.

"What?" I asked loudly looking to Chuck for an explanation.

"Yeah, the archangels….and then he just kind of—" Chuck made an explosion sound motioning the picture of someone blowing up.

I closed my eyes trying to get the image of Cas exploding out of my head. It was a gruesome sight in my head and judging by how much blood there was around it was just as gruesome in reality. I shook my head before standing up and walking towards Eloa before her gaze snapped to mine and Chuck groaned. I didn't understand what was going on until I heard the fluttering of wings.

"Hello Claire," a familiar voice said from behind me. I whipped around and found Zachariah standing behind me. I took a step back quickly away from him.

"What are you doing here?"

"It's apocalypse time. You really thought we would just disappear?"

"You were of no assistance from the beginning," Eloa's cold voice cut through the conversation. Zachariah turned to my twin a look of amusement on his face.

"Sister, fallen off the bandwagon have you? You know the wrath of Lucifer-"

"And I also know you knowingly let him escape from the depths of his despair. You will pay greatly for this when Father finds out-"

"Father is gone," Zachariah said harshly cutting Eloa off.

I watched Eloa carefully. Sure we hadn't been separated for very long, but I knew the angel's triggers like the back of my hand. Eloa's face may have been blank, but I knew better. She was boiling on the inside. She was temperamental, just like Lucifer.

I glanced over at Chuck who was looking at me a frightened look on his face. He was slightly motioning to the sliding kitchen door with his head. He then motioned to his hand making a cutting motion along it slightly trying not to catch Zachariah's attention. He and Eloa were in the middle of a staring contest.

It took me a moment before I realized what Chuck was talking about. I saw the blood on the kitchen door before I took off at a run towards it. I had pulled a knife out of my jacket and slid it down my palm quickly holding my hand out to the symbols drawn in blood but before my hand hit the door I was thrown backwards. I smashed into the stairs railing and in a shower of splintered wood rolled back down to the main floor.

As soon as I hit the floor Eloa threw out her hand at Zachariah tossing him backwards and through the wall. I struggled to get up a throbbing in my hand before Chuck helped me up and the two of us backed away from the angel fight. Eloa was walking menacingly towards the fallen Zachariah.

"We were told never to harm humans, Zachariah or have you forgotten all our teachings?" Eloa stalked towards him.

Zachariah laughed, "You've grown weak, even compassion for these creatures."

"You're damn right I have," Eloa snapped her hand held out.

Before she could do anything, in a flutter of wings Zachariah was gone.

* * *

Dean stood with his back to the brick wall as he stared up at what little sky he could see. He sighed his eyes moving from star to star, like he was searching for something. He shook his head before looking down at the ground, a tear making its way down his face.

"What in the hell where you thinking," he whispered. "How could you be so selfish? How could you leave us like that? Huh?" Dean glared up at the sky the tear marks visible upon his face. "We needed you!"

Sam stood a little ways away keeping himself hidden from Dean. He put his head in his hands as he heard Dean talking. This is the first sign of mourning Dean has shown since he held Claire in his arms. _We didn't even get to give her a proper burial_, Sam thought staring up at the sky.

"_Come on, Sam. It's not that bad," _Claire's voice drifted into his mind._ "Remember that no matter what I'm still right here in your heart."_

Sam closed his eyes tightly. He shook his head as he heard Dean's hand connect with the brick wall. He felt his eyes water but kept them closed tightly trying to keep the flood gates from opening. He took a few steps out towards the street as the tears finally fell. This was his fault. How in the hell was he ever going to fix this?

* * *

"Do you really think it was a good idea to entrust this kind of information to someone so…"

"Obsessed?" I finished for Eloa who was struggling with words.

Chuck sighed as he closed his laptop before turning to face me and Eloa. He nodded not saying anything before he shakily walked to the kitchen and started searching for something. I watched Chuck, but turned to face Eloa who was processing what Chuck had said.

"If what the prophet says is correct then the one powerful enough to survive has come forth."

"I'm sorry what?" I asked giving my twin a confused look. She had a contemplative look on her face before her piercing gaze landed on me.

"Michael's sword isn't just a weapon, it's a vessel and I know who it is…"

* * *

Dean pressed his foot down harder on the gas as he flew along the road. His mind was a jumble of thoughts and emotions at what had just transpired. If they lost Bobby he wasn't sure what he would do. First Claire and now Bobby? What in the hell was wrong with all of this. He couldn't take much more of it he refused.

Sam had his jaw clamped tightly shut as he stared angrily out at the dark road in front of them. He watched silently as the storage unit came into sight. Once Dean pulled the car to a stop he got out and with purpose strode to the back of the impala as Dean opened the trunk. They both grabbed their respective weapons and made sure each one was loaded before heading into the storage unit.

They glanced around cautiously as they walked to their father's respected unit as Dean used their key to open it up. Sam stood watch as Dean opened the unit quickly and both had their guns at the ready. The sight they were greeted with wasn't exactly the sight they were expecting. Laying on the ground in a pool of blood were bodies, more than likely demons. They walked into the unit noticing everything was in place.

"I see you told the demon's where the sword is," Zachariah's voice broke the silence causing both Winchesters to turn guns pointed towards the angel.

"Oh, thank god the angels area here," Dean retorted sarcastically as he and Sam lowered their weapons.

"And to think they could have grabbed it any time they wanted," Zachariah continued ignoring Dean's statement and he stepped over one of the bodies. He motioned to the door and it began to slide close of its own accord locking the Winchesters in with the angels. "Right in front of them."

"What do you mean?" Sam asked clearly not liking where this conversation was going.

"We may have planted that particular piece of prophecy inside Chuck's skull, but it happened to be true. We did lose the Michael Sword. We truly couldn't find it until now. You've just hand-delivered it to us."

"We don't have anything," Dean answered clearly confused.

"It's you, chucklehead. You're the Michael Sword."

* * *

"You're telling me that Dean…Dean Winchester is Michael's vessel?" I asked as Eloa concentrated on some of Castiel's blood.

"Yes," she replied simply before kneeling down a look of amusement crossing her face. It had grown dark and Chuck had thrown himself down on the couch with a bottle of booze and passed out.

"I have to get to Dean," I said suddenly grabbing my car keys and heading to the door. Before I reached the door Eloa appeared in front of me the stoic look on her face.

"Not yet."

"Look, I know Sam and Dean don't mean much to you, but they're all I have left. If you don't move then I'll make you move," I growled at her. The aggressive side of me showing…Alex.

"I know how you feel, but not yet," Eloa said again.

"Why the hell not!" I raised my voice.

"Because we need a weapon," a new voice said from behind me. I turned around slowly and came face to face with Cas holding what looked like a silver dagger.

"Cas?" I asked confused.

"Zachariah is in charge, he must be stopped," his deep groggy voice echoed through the room.

"Both must be stopped," Eloa responded nodding. I felt her grab onto my arm before I felt a weird feeling erupt through my body before getting the feeling like someone had just punched me in the stomach. I glanced around and immediately recognized the place. John's storage unit.

"Just kill us," I heard Dean.

"Oh no, I'm just getting started." Zachariah replied.

"I don't think so," my voice echoed through the room as Castiel pushed the dagger through one of the men's throats. A bright white light erupted through the room as the angel fell to the ground dead.

A look of pure shock came over Zachariah's face when he realized who was in the room with him now. I stood with my back to Eloa and Cas who sounded like they were making quick work of the other angel in the room. My gaze never left Zachariah's as I felt the penetrating gaze from both Winchesters who were on the floor. I noticed Dean was bleeding from the mouth and Sam was clutching his throat.

"You really didn't think me or Cas would go down that easily did you?" After I said that another bright light and gust of wind rushed through the room as the second angel was killed.

"How are you-?"

"Alive?" Cas finished for Zachariah as he stood next to me. "That's a good question. How'd these two end up on that airplane? How was Claire resurrected with her entire soul still intact? How is our sister able to walk among us once more? Other good questions because the angels didn't do. I think we both know the answer, don't we?"

"No," Zachariah replied.

"Yes," Eloa snapped finally coming forward. "I warned you Zachariah."

"It's not possible," Zachariah said weakly towards Eloa.

"It scares you," Cas said simply. "Well it should. Now, put these boy back together and go. I won't ask twice."

I watched the angels talk a confused look on my face. I glanced over to Dean and Sam and wanted to help them so bad but Zachariah was in my way. I stood the quietly and let the angels duke it out. Zachariah gave Cas an angry look before he disappeared in gust of wind and the flap of wings. I let out a breath I didn't realize I had been holding.

"You two need to be more careful," Cas approached the Winchesters leaving me and Eloa still standing there. Both guys quickly got off the ground staring at Cas in amazement.

"Yeah I'm starting to get that. Your frat brothers are bigger dicks than I thought," Dean responded out of breath.

"I don't mean the angels. Lucifer is circling his vessel…and once he takes it, those hex bags won't be enough to save you."

My eyes widened hearing that. I heard the whooshing of wind next to me and quickly turned to find Eloa had vanished. She was a part of the original regime sent to keep Lucifer from rising again and she failed. She probably went to make sure he didn't get a hold of the vessel. I turned back in time to see Cas carve Sam and Dean with the Enochian sigils and the guys were quite appalled by the fact that they were on their rib cages.

"Hey, Cas, were you really dead?" Sam asked. Dean's eyes shot past Cas and directly at me. I stood there gazing back at Dean as Cas answered, "Yes," to Sam.

"Then how are you back?" Dean asked still looking at me. I wasn't sure whether he was addressing me or Cas. The angel turned and glanced at me before disappearing.

I glanced to the ground before finally gaining the courage to look at the guys. Both were staring at me, Dean an apprehensive look on his face while Sam's was one of pure relief. I was frozen to my spot not sure if I should make the first move or let them, but thankfully Sam broke the tension. He quickly walked forward and pulled me into a hug and holding on almost like he was reassuring himself I was actually there. I felt his shoulders shaking and it urged me to hold onto him tighter. I fought the tears that threatened to fall as I held onto Sam tightly. I glanced over at his shoulder at Dean who was standing there.

I let go of Sam who was also looking at Dean curious as to what his brother was going to do. I took a step towards Dean and that's all it took. In one quickly powerful step Dean came forward and wrapped his arms around me tightly. I let the first tear fall as I buried my face in his neck taking in the smell I had missed for so long. His hand was resting on the back of my neck as he cradled me to him. He wasn't going to let go. I closed my eyes tightly before taking a deep breath and opening them again. It took a moment for me to pull away from Dean. I smiled sadly at both of them.

* * *

Eloa stood quietly in the yard as she stared up at the house. She had tried multiple times to get into the house, but all were unsuccessful. She could feel him. He was here. She gazed on silently planning her method of attack when a familiar essence appeared beside her.

"If he obtains his true vessel they will never win," his deep voice broke the silence.

"They're stronger than you think."

"A common weakness will tear them apart," his piercing blue eyes landed on her delicate face. She didn't move nor did she show any type of emotion on her face. She finally shifted her grey eyes to meet his.

"Then eliminate the problem."

A look of shock came across Castiel's face as the meaning of her words sunk in. His sister was willing to kill anything in her path. Beautiful, but ruthless is what they said. The angels were sure that if Lucifer hadn't turned on their Father then Eloa sure would have. She proved herself faithful though when she became one of the Grigori to put an end to Lucifer.

"You want to kill her?"

"This is the apocalypse we are facing now, Castiel. Distractions are not warranted and any must be taken care of in a quick fashion."

Castiel reluctantly nodded before in a flutter of wings he was gone. Eloa turned her gaze from the now empty spot to the house. She stared at the large windows on the second floor and a blinding white light erupted through the window. This would have blinded anyone else, but not an angel. Lucifer had entered his vessel. Things were falling into place. Eloa turned her back to the scene before, in the flutter wings, was gone.

* * *

**FINALLY! haha I thank allllllll of you who have stuck through this and at last the next installment has arrived! I apologize for the lack of response on either of my stories but school almost killed me, but i am back with new, twisted ideas of what to do to this tri (evil smile). Anyways I am in the market for a beta who is flexible and up for exchanging ideas with me :) I would totally be grateful so just PM me if you are interest! **

**On a second note please please please leave a review or send me a message about what you thought about this new chapter :)**


	2. Hopeless Places

_**Chapter 2 – Hopeless Places**_

I let out a sigh as I leaned back in the uncomfortable chair. I felt my head hit the wall behind me as I slowly closed my eyes. I hadn't realized how tired I was until I had done that. The beeping of the monitors echoed through the room keeping me from precious sleep.

"It's good to have you back, kid," Bobby's deep voice reached my ears.

"It's good to be back," I smiled before sitting up and opening my eyes.

"What happened after you…?" Bobby asked hesitantly.

"Died?" I asked standing up and stretching as I walked to the window in the room. I crossed my arms and stared out the window.

"_STOP! Please stop!" my throat felt raw as I screamed and screamed. It was useless. I could feel the wire digging deeper and deeper into my skin as I struggled to get away. The heat of the flames coming closer and closer to my back causing me to scream even louder as my torturer's malicious laughing mixed with my screaming._

"Claire?" Bobby's voice snapped me out of the memory.

"Nothing…At least I think nothing. I don't remember," I told him turning to face him.

Bobby gave me an incredulous look as his eyes bore into mine. I could see the wheels working in his head. Bobby was a smart man, but it didn't mean he was going to understand. Dean would only I didn't want to bother Dean with my problems. He had the end of the world to deal with not my emotional baggage.

"That's a load of bullshit and you know it," Bobby said frankly glaring at me. "We've been through this before and hiding it never does anyone any good."

"I'm not hiding anything, Bobby."

"Yeah, and we're not in a hospital with dumbass doctors."

"What are you guys talking about?" Dean's voice broke through the confrontation drawing both my and Bobby's gaze to the door when Dean and Sam stood. I shot at look at Bobby just daring him to say something. Bobby remained quiet before looking back at me.

"Nothing important," I finally responded. "I'm sorry Bobby."

I took this as my cue to leave as I stood up and pushed past the guys and out into the hallway. I ran my fingers through my hair as I turned the corner and stopped leaning against the wall. Bobby was never going to walk again and he was still more concerned about me, Sam, and Dean. Yet I'm lying right to his face. I glanced around the hallway the nurses and doctors passing me by didn't give me a second glance too absorbed with their own lives. This would have been me if John hadn't shown up that night…

"You ready?" Dean's voice snapped me out of my thoughts. I glanced up at the guys and nodded, but I wasn't really focused on them. It was a daze really as we walked out to the parking lot. Dean and Sam were once again going at it as Dean talked about not fighting and saying stuff for Bobby's benefit which I have no clue what they're talking about.

"I tried, Sammy. I mean, I really tried," Dean said looking Sam straight in the eyes. I glanced between the two as I leaned against Dean's car. "But I just can't keep pretending that everything's alright. Because it's not…and it's never going to be. You chose a demon over your own brother and look what happened."

I tried not to flinch at those words as I watched Sam look down taking all the blows Dean was throwing at him. I felt bad for Sam, but I didn't sympathize with the fact that I died because he was too proud to let Lilith go.

"I would give anything-" He cut himself off and glanced at me. "Anything to take it all back."

"I know you would. And I know how sorry you are, I do. But man…you were the one that I depended on the most…and you let me down in ways that I can't even…" Dean stopped. He was trying to hold it together as an array of emotions fell down on him. I could see it even though his back was to me. "I'm just—I'm having a hard time forgiving and forgetting here, you know?"

I watched silently as I crossed my arms over my chest. I hated intruding on their moments, but I couldn't help but feeling there was a double meaning being the betrayal Dean was feeling…Was he angry for Sam trusting a demon or me dying or him not being able to be there when Lilith went down? These guys had so much going for them. Their brotherhood is all they have in this fight and if it failed them…who knew what would happen in the coming months and that worried me.

"What can I do?" Sam finally asked after a moment of silence.

"Honestly? Nothing. I just don't—I don't think that we can ever be what we were, you know? I just don't think I can trust you," Dean finally said.

I could feel my heart breaking as a look of sheer devastation came over Sam's features as he listened to what his brother had to say. I watched as Dean shook his head before turning towards me and walking towards his car hesitantly. He slowed down a few times like he wanted to turn and say something, but he stayed silent. Sam stood glued to his spot as he watched his brother the broken look still on his face.

Dean stopped next to me, but he didn't look down at me. I felt his hand brush mine and lingering there almost like he was trying to make sure I was still there. I grabbed his hand as I gazed at Sam. I gave Dean's hand a reassuring squeeze as I nodded to Sam. I was going to keep these boys together as long as I could. I don't care if it kills me.

* * *

I stood in front of the vending machine as stared at the bottles inside. I wasn't thirsty but I knew I had to drink something. I closed my eyes and hit the first button my fingers felt and hoped it was something I liked. I heard the bottle drop into the little cubby at the bottom and opened my eyes to see a bottle of lemonade sitting there. I sighed and picked it up popping the top off and taking a quick drink.

I glanced around at the doctors milling around along with nurses and orderlies. We had been here for a few days now and the verdict on Bobby was still the same. He wasn't going to walk again. It's like a sick joke taking away a hunter's legs. I put the lid back on the bottle and started walking back towards Bobby's room, but somehow made a detour towards the exit. Once I reached the outdoors I was drawn to the small alcove in the courtyard of the hospital. As I made my way towards the bench in the center I noticed who was sitting there causing me to sigh before sitting next to her.

"Lucifer has successfully obtained his vessel," her cool voice echoed through the silence.

"What do we do now?" I asked glancing around but not looking directly at her.

"We pray that we survive," Eloa said finally after a moment of silence her eyes boring into me.

I shook my head not looking at her directly. I then stood up running one hand through my hair. Without looking at her I walked away. I couldn't do it. I just couldn't. Lucifer was now in his vessel, which meant he was powerful. I was useless now, I'm only human. Sam and Dean can't do it alone. We just can't—

"Whoa! Where's the fire?" a familiar voice broke me out of my thoughts. I looked up and realized I had slammed right into Sam.

I stared up at him and unsure look on my face before I wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled him into a hug. I pressed my cheek and ear to his chest as I stood there listening to his heartbeat. I didn't realize I was crying until I saw the tear stain I had left on his shirt. At this point I could feel my shoulders shaking as I clung to Sam as though my life depended on it. I had his shirt grasped tightly between my fingers as I cried. I could feel his arms around me holding tightly. This was the Sammy I remember. This was the boy I had fell in love with a few years ago.

"What happened, Claire?" Sam asked softly.

"Just don't let me go, Sam," I hiccupped through the tears.

"Never," She responded softly shaking his head before resting his chin on top of my head.

I closed my eyes tightly as my arms tightened around him. Everything felt okay for the moment. I should have known it all was too good to be true. My eyes snapped open when I no longer felt Sam's body pressed against mine. All I felt was air. Then I felt my stomach and chest hit the ground before I could stop myself. I quickly pushed myself up off the ground falling into a defensive position as I looked around.

"Eloa?" I called out praying to God it was her.

"I must say…It's been a while since I've heard that name," an unfamiliar voice said from somewhere in front of me. My eyes darting around in the darkness looking for the source of the voice.

"Who are you?" I asked taking a step back.

"I'm the one who's going to set us all free," the voice was right next to me.

I swung around and came face to face with a blonde haired man. His blue eyes had a mischievous glint to them, but nothing malicious. He stood about a head taller than me and wore a pair of worn out jeans, and a plain gray t-shirt. I took him in quickly before taking another step back.

"Lucifer," I whispered.

"Ladies and Gentlemen…We have a winner," he smirked as he stared down at me.

* * *

"What do you mean she's gone?" Dean snapped at his brother. Sam just shook his head before glancing over at Bobby.

"I mean she was there one minute and then the next she was gone, like-"

"Like she was swooped up by angels?" Bobby asked nodding past the boys. Both Winchesters turned to see Castiel and Claire both standing there…Wait not Claire. It was Eloa. Both angels stood there silently as they took in the trio, Eloa's eyes lingering on Sam's shirt before turning to look at Dean and blatantly ignoring Bobby.

"Where's Claire?" Dean asked snapping at Cas. A confused look crossed the angel's face as he glanced over at Eloa. The female angel kept a stoic look on her face as she gazed on.

"She's fine. You shouldn't worry," Eloa said finally.

"We shouldn't worry?" Dean asked sarcastically. "We just got her back and now she's missing and you say we shouldn't worry?"

Eloa rolled her eyes before glancing over at Sam. "You have bigger things to worry about."

With that and the flutter of wings she was gone, leaving Dean, Sam, and Bobby staring at Cas for some answers.

"We need to talk," Cas said finally.

"You don't say?" Bobby snapped rhetorically.

* * *

"This is your idea of holding a person captive?" I asked as I stared at him a confused look on my face as I walked around the room. There was a couch and some pictures hanging on the wall along with a table full of food.

"This is my idea of a peace offering," he said simply shrugging his shoulders.

"A peace offering? And why would you be dealing out a peace offering…with me?" I asked as I walked over to the table and picked up a bottle of soda. I looked at the bottle and my eyebrows shot up. It had been my favorite soda as a kid; dad used to pick it up whenever we pulled into a gas station.

"Do you really think I'm stupid enough to lay all my cards out for you to see?"

"Now you're hiding things from me?" I asked sarcastically turning to look at him. "Darling I do think this relationship is doomed to fail."

Lucifer scoffed as he crossed his arms over his chest and began to pace around the room. My eyes followed his every movement, like a moth drawn to the flame. There was something deadly about the way he held himself, but there was also something extremely vulnerable about it. I set the soda back on the table before straightening up as Lucifer neared me.

"What has Eloa told you about me?" he asked his eyes darting to me before hitting the floor in front of him. I narrowed my eyes at him confused before answering.

"Nothing."

Lucifer scoffed, "Selfish bitch."

"Okay," I muttered walking towards the only door in the room. "This has been fun, but I've got things to attend to…"

"Doesn't it make you wonder how you got here?" Lucifer asked causing me to stop dead in my tracks. My back stayed facing him as I listened, my shoulders tensed. "How I found you so quickly, but I can't seem to find the Winchesters?"

I didn't say anything as I stared ahead at the door. "I like you," Lucifer smirked as he began circling me. "You've got this spark. I can see why both Winchesters fell for you. Quite tragic really. Two brothers helplessly in love with the same girl, which means they have a common weakness."

"Now you're reaching," I responded turning sharply to look at him. "You think I'm scared of you? You think that I'm just going to cower and give you all the information you want?"

"No," he responded shaking his head. "I just figured it would be two extraordinary beings talking about the best way to collaborate."

"Well I hate to break it to you, but I'm the last person with any kind of influence in this. So if you wanna kill me, go ahead and get it over with," I responded tossing my arms out.

"Now why would I kill my best chance to obtain my true vessel?" he asked coming to a stop staring at me like he was gauging my reaction.

"True vessel?"

"Sam Winchester."

"Heaven and hell," I whispered.

"You think you got put between the brothers on accident?" Lucifer asked before slowly walking towards me. "You're the driving wedge between them. You're going to be their downfall."

I took a step away from Lucifer a look of horror crossing my face as I felt my back hit the door. I turned around and grasped the handle of the door yanking it open and running through. I didn't stop running until my legs gave out from beneath me. I hit the ground breathing heavily finally taking a look at where I was at. The woods somewhere.

I slowly pushed my tired body up into a sitting position before pulling out my phone. I dialed Dean's number my breathing still irregular.

"_Claire? Claire where are you_?" Dean asked worry etched into his voice.

"I'm not sure…Where are you?" I asked looking around.

"_You've been missing for days Claire. DAYS_."

"What are you talking about? I've only been gone an hour Dean." I pulled the phone away from my ear and gazed at the time and date on the phone. It was around noon but it was four days from when I saw Sam. "What's going on where are you?" I asked again.

"_We're with Jo, Ellen, and Rufus. Remember the stories about the horsemen_?"

"Yeah, there's Pestilence, War, Famine, and Death."

"_Yeah, well we're going head to head with War_."

"You're serious?" I asked as I finally stood up and started walking again.

"_As a heart attack_."

I pulled the phone away from my ear for a moment trying to wrap my mind around it. I had actually been gone for four days and not an hour and in that time span I was face to face with Lucifer while Sam and Dean went face to face with war, one of the horsemen of the apocalypse. Oh yeah this all just made loads of sense.

"I'm on my way," I said into the phone before shutting it as the familiar sound of flapping wings broke the silence. I turned and came face to face with Castiel. "You have no idea how good it is to see you."

"You've seen him?" Cas asked looking over every inch of me.

"Lucifer? Yeah held me captive for four days…"

"What did he say?" Cas asked urgently.

"Nothing…" I responded slowly. "Cas what's going on?"

"Forgive me," Cas said softly his blue eyes boring into mine. I hadn't realized he had anything in his hands before whatever it was came in contact with the side of my head knocking me unconscious.

* * *

Eloa moved slowly through the room knowing Sam was going to be uptight after his chat with Lucifer. She refused to choose sides, but sometimes her brother did come off a bit abrasive. Sam was handsome, there was no denying that. He would make a good vessel for Lucifer, but it was tragic that his soul would be ripped to shreds in the process.

"Claire?" Sam's voice cut through her thoughts. She tilted her head slightly as she stared at him a blank look on her face. "Eloa…" Sam clarified as he pulled on a shirt. "What are you doing here?"

"Haven't you wondered where Claire is?" Eloa asked. Sam's gaze snapped in Eloa's direction a new emotion crossing his face. "It's okay to still love her. She still loves you…"

Eloa moved slowly around the room taking in every detail. She noticed Sam's bag was on the other side of the room, but he had a weapon under his pillow even though it would do no good against her. She could still feel Lucifer's presence even if it had been in Sam's mind. That boy was just oozing angelic energy. She turned her gaze to a small tattered picture resting in Sam's jacket pocket. The jacket was thrown on the dresser causing Eloa to walk towards it. She reached into the pocket noticing Sam stiffen when Eloa pulled the picture from the pocket and stared down at it.

It was a picture of him, Claire, and Dean. Claire had her arms around Sam's neck while Dean stood off to the side rolling his eyes, Sam and Claire laughing. Sam clenched his jaw when he noticed how analytical Eloa was being with the picture. He wanted to walk forth and grab it front her, but his feet were frozen to the ground.

"Where is she? What have you done with her?" Sam growled.

"She's in good hands," Eloa said absently glancing over at Sam. "But you can't save her. No one can."

"What are you talking about?" Sam asked a frantic look crossing his face.

"She's gonna burn," Eloa smirked slightly her gaze finding Sam's once more. "She wasn't supposed to come back. When she did, she threw the balance of nature off."

"Eloa we have to find her."

Eloa shook her head, "No. She needs to die. It's the natural order. As soon as Lucifer obtains his true vessel, Claire will be no more."

"What are talking about?" Sam asked finding himself more and more horrified as the angel continued.

"She's the only thing standing between Lucifer and total domination. You really think he's gonna let her live. She's your weakness, Sam. She's both, you and Dean's weakness. It's only a matter of time. You couldn't save her the first time…What makes you think you can save her this time?"

Sam's eyes widened before Eloa disappeared in the flutter of wings. Sam found he could move again before he darted over to the dresser. The picture was lying there on top of his jacket causing him to pick it up and stare at it for a moment before lunging for his cell phone. He dialed her number praying she would pick up. Maybe there was a chance…

"_Hey you've reached me, obviously. If it's important leave a message after the beep_," her voice rang out causing Sam's heart to drop.

"Claire, It's Sam. Dean and I are worried about you. Where are you Claire?" Sam asked before hesitantly pulling the phone away from his ear. He looked at her name on the screen before ending the call. He closed his eyes briefly letting out a deep sigh before his eyes snapped open and he grabbed all his things. He needed to find her.

* * *

Dean leaned against the Impala as he waited for Sam. He was staring at the ground a thoughtful look on his face. After what Sam had said about Claire, Dean knew they had to find her. They couldn't trust Eloa and Cas said he didn't know anything about Claire's whereabouts. Something was off about Cas's reaction when Dean had asked him…

Dean's gaze snapped from the ground to the car that was approaching. He could clearly make out Sam's figure is the driver's seat as he got closer and closer. Dean pushed himself away from his car before standing straight as the car came to a stop. Dean walked a little ways towards the car but stopped as Sam climbed out and began walking towards him.

"Sam," Dean greeted. Sam stared at his brother as Dean pulled Ruby's knife out of his jacket holding it in front of himself. Dean then flipped the knife so the hilt was facing Sam. "It you're serious, you want back in…You should hang onto this. I'm sure you're rusty." Sam nodded before slowly taking the knife from Dean. "Look, man, I'm sorry. I don't know…whatever I need to be I was, but…I was wrong."

"What made you change your mind?" Sam asked.

"Claire did," Dean responded to his question before shaking his head. "Long story, but the point is maybe we are each other's Achilles' heel. Maybe Claire is the only thing holding us together right now. Maybe they'll find a way to use us against each other. I don't know. I just know that we're all we've got. More than that. We keep each other human."

"Thank you. Really. Thank you," Sam responded staring at his older brother. "I won't let you down."

"Oh I know it. I mean you are the second best hunter on the planet," Dean smirked looking up at his younger brother.

"So what do we do now?" Sam asked looking down briefly his thoughts flickering to Claire.

"We make our own future and we make sure no angel lay their slimy paws on the girl we swore to protect."

"Guess we have no choice."

"Let's go find our girl," Dean nodded before heading back towards the Impala.

* * *

I gasped as I quickly sat up. My hand immediately went to my chest feeling a burning sensation there. I looked down at my chest my eyes growing wide seeing what was there. I pulled my hand back covered in blood before my gaze looked at it frantically. Carved into the skin of my chest was a pentagram with several weird marking around it.

"Castiel did that," a voice echoed from across the room.

My gaze shot up coming to a stop on…me. I slowly stood up my hand still pressed firmly to my chest as I finally realized who it was standing there. I tilted my head slightly glancing around for any kind of weapon, but found nothing.

"Alex…What are you doing here?" I asked.

"In your head? We're one person again…remember?" She asked pushing away from the wall crossing her arms over her chest. "You made that choice."

"I didn't have any other choice-"

"The hell you didn't!" Alex snapped.

"We're family." I told her not wavering. "Whether you like it or not we're family. I couldn't bring you back Alex, so I did the next best thing."

"Melding our souls together?" she asked horrified. "I want nothing to do with you! You are a lying, goodie two shoed, whiny bitch-"

I cut her off by swinging my fist right at her jaw. Her head snapped the other way causing her to hit the floor hard. I stood above her holding my hand checking to make sure I didn't break it. Once I was satisfied it wasn't broken I moved around so I could see her face as she was on the floor.

"Let's try this again. I saved you from burning in Hell for the rest of your existence…Be grateful."

Alex didn't say anything before she was on her feet and lunging at me. Before she could reach me a body planted itself firmly between me and my unruly twin sending her flying back a few steps.

"Enough!" the recognizable voice of Cas growled. He looked between us his piercing blue eyes fierce. "This is what Lucifer wants. This ends here!"

"Shut the hell up, monkey boy," Alex responded shaking her head crossing her arms over her chest. "Lucifer has risen. You're all screwed."

"Will you shut the hell up demon princess," I snapped glaring at her.

"Bite the bullet angel," she responded back a smirk on her face.

"You will never find peace if you two do not learn to work together," Cas said loudly looking between us. "Your powers didn't end with Eloa. You had your own magic. Use it."

Before Alex or I could say a single word Cas was gone. This left me and Alex glaring at each other before a smirk broke out across her face. She walked over to where the chair was before sitting down still facing me. I wasn't sure what she was doing, but at this point I honestly could care less. I walked over to where the other chair was sitting and sat down.

"Do you remember when we first met?"

"_You must be Claire," a musical voice said a few feet in front of me. I looked up and saw, well me standing in front of me only with blond hair._

"_You must be Alexandria," I replied back a little reluctantly. She stuck her hand out and I took it once again reluctantly._

"_Please, call me Alex." I smiled at her as we both stood there, awkwardly as I may add and if Dean was here he would have pointed that out. "Wow, it's like looking in a mirror only with brown hair."_

"The only thing we ever had in common were our looks," I told her bitterly. "You and I were never sisters."

She scoffed, "But we're family," she mimicked. "Please. You never wanted me in your head. The only reason I'm here is because you couldn't come back from hell without me."

"Okay, fine you got me," I responded my glare snapping her direction. "I never wanted to know you. I never wanted to be anything like you. You may be four minutes older than me, but I have more people that care about me than ever cared about you."

"And you honestly think that bothers me?" Alex asked laughing. "We were born separate for a reason. I never needed anyone. You're good, I'm evil we realize that."

"Maybe that's what Cas was trying to say. We're two different people, but we were born with magic. Imagine how that would be if we put everything aside and just worked together."

Alex rolled her eyes sighing. "You just don't get it. We are never going to be one person."

"We don't have to be. We just have to work together as two individuals. Two souls one body never works. Two people one soul. I know you wanna taste the power as much as I do. If we want it we have to work together."

Alex stared at me a contemplative look on her face. I held my hand out to her waiting before watching as she walked forward before her hand slid into mine.

* * *

Dean leaned against the Impala while Sam was on the phone talking to Bobby. No one had heard from Claire, she was just…gone. Dean shook his head as he watched Sam come back a crestfallen look on his face. He shook his head as he neared Dean shoving his cellphone in his pocket.

"Bobby doesn't have any new leads."

"Where could she be, Sam? She comes back to life and just up and disappears? Something's not right."

"Maybe Bobby's right. Maybe the angels took her and are teaching her how to be an angel-"

"Or maybe they're wiping her memory and throwing her to the dogs where demons are ready to rip her apart." Dean retorted causing Sam to look down at the ground. "She was an angel, Sam. She knows things that demons would love to get their hands on."

"I know that, Dean, but we can't find her!" Sam snapped. "Eloa said-"

"I know what she said," Dean snapped. "We're not losing her. Not this time."

"Good to know you boys still care," I called out.

I watched as boy guys whipped around quickly confused and shocked looks on their faces. A smile flitted across my face…Alex. I rolled my eyes before walking towards them. I could tell they were confused and a little apprehensive before Sam threw his arms around me pulling me into a hug.

"Eloa said-"

"She doesn't really like us very much," I nodded.

"Us?" Dean asked as he took a step forward towards me.

I sighed taking a step back before looking up at them. "Guys…we gotta talk."

* * *

**I'm not gonna lie, I've been having a hard time with inspiration for this story. But I hope you guys like this chapter! Check out the banners for this story on my homepage!**


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